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Providence Series Books 5-7 Page 37
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After a discussion on which tampon was better for what, they noticed me standing there.
Raising my eyebrows at the ladies, I glanced over at Cole who looked like he was getting ready to run.
“Oh, hey!” they all greeted, giving me innocent smiles.
“We were just discussing female things,” Sonya nodded at the table. Honestly, I hadn’t realized that they made so many types of tampons, but then I’d never really had to study the things in the store.
“Why is he here?” I pointed at my brother who was now eyeballing the window as a method of escape.
“Because he’s an asshole,” Ebru snapped. “He knocked me up, and he didn’t even tell me!”
Cole winced and looked at me like he was begging for help. I considered my options for a minute and then settled on the one question that would help me decide – what would Cole do if it was me in his shoes?
That helped immensely. What also helped was that I’d overheard Ebru and Maya discussing post birth shit not long ago and really, my brother should be taking an interest in that seeing as how it would be happening again after this baby was born.
“Does he know about what it was like after you had Louis? He should, you know. A woman needs her husband to be there for every aspect of the birth of his child, even what happens after it.”
An evil smile crossed her face, and she got a gleam in her eyes as she turned to look at Cole.
“Well, did you know that when you bleed after giving birth…”
And my work here was done.
Chapter 7
Sonya
I t was the big day, and I had a craving for grapes, nothing but grapes. I’d been rooting through the fridge trying to find something to eat, but not knowing what when I’d come across a couple of grapes that Tom had left after he’d had a snack yesterday. Why men had to put empty containers or almost empty containers back in the fridge, I didn’t know.
Once I’d eaten one grape though, I wanted more! So, Tony had gone out and come back with three bags of them – green, red and black.
I was now alternating between them, while the hair chick worked her magic, trying to figure out which one I preferred best. Right now, I was loving the black ones.
“Are you sure you want it to look like this?” Ling the hair chick asked as she clipped in a dark blonde extension.
I didn’t want to give up what I was enjoying so much by talking though, so I nodded and tapped the photo that I’d found online. Shaking her head, she went back to adding them to my hair and then pinned it all up.
I was past the point of caring if they didn’t think my style suited a bride’s ideals – this wasn’t a typical wedding, it’s was a Halloween one. Pretty much everywhere had been available when Tom rang to find a venue for the reception because no one wanted to get married at Halloween. I don’t know why, if you asked me it was one of the most romantic times of the year. The leaves were golden, the excitement was high, the seasons were changing so it was cooler…it all just screamed romance and beauty.
At that moment, my phone pinged in my hand and I saw Tom’s name come up. We’d had a software update on our phones the day before and, since then, auto-correct had been acting screwy.
The last text that I’d gotten had been freaking hilarious.
Tom: Can you change my name in your contract lost to husband please? Xxxxx love your husband.
Before I could reply, another one came through.
Tom: That looks weird. Like I loved your husband. I meant love from your husband. Xxxxx
Followed quickly by another.
Tom: My games are trembling. My phone is shiking everywhere. I need you to get here so I can hold you. Xxxxx
Laughing at how nervous he was and assuming he meant his hands were trembling, I replied.
Me: I’ve just made that change. Did the vagina arrive? Xxxxx love, your wife.
Two seconds later, it pinged in my hand again.
Tom: You sent a stripper? I’m not sure that’s the done thing? Xxxxx
Me: What? No! I typed vagina not vagina. Xxxxx
Tom: WTF?
Me: Mother ducker. C H I N A! Has it arrived?? Xxxxx
His mom had been stressed out of her mind earlier that morning because the special china that they’d chosen hadn’t arrived at the venue. She’d been in charge of making sure they got it there ASAP and had ended up sending one of the ranch workers to collect it. I would have been happy with paper plates, but Tom had wanted everything to be perfect.
Tom: That makes more sense. Yes, she says it got there in one piece. So, no china? Xxxxx
Me: Wait, you said it got there? Xxxxx
Tom: I meant vagina! Is Grams with you? Xxxxx
Me: No to the vagina, yes to Grams. She got me pregnant and now she’s in the other room doing her crotch. Xxxxx
Tom: That’s ducking discumting. My family really need to cut this shot out. Xxxxx
I was laughing too hard to reply at first, and almost headbutted the lady who was leaning down over me.
Me: Crochet. Her crochet. She said it helps when she gets nervous. And it was Pringles, not pregnant. Xxxxx
The tube of Pringles was still sitting in front of me unopened. I’d been about to pop the top when Tony had brought me back my bags of grapes. I couldn’t see them being eaten now I’d started my grape roulette taste decision test.
Maybe, I should put them all into one bag and pick them out with my eyes shut to see which tasted the best?
Doing just that, I settled back and was about to start munching while Ling finished my hair, but my phone pinged yet again ruining that plan.
Tom: I ducking hate my phone I’m so hard right now. Xxxxx
Tom: I didn’t type that. Why would it change it to that? I’m always hard for you, but I didn’t even type that. Ah, duck it. Xxxxx
Me: I ducking love you! Xxxxx
Tom: Ducking love you too, pretty girl! Xxxxx
Putting my phone on the counter, I grinned at the ladies standing around and closed my eyes again so they could finish the hair magic while I did my grape challenge.
Once it was all done, I looked at my reflection in the mirror. My mom had made me have long hair throughout my childhood, so one of the first things I’d done when I left home was to cut it to just above my shoulders. I couldn’t take the weight of all the hair anymore and the second it was gone, the relief was insane. For today though, I could cope with the contrasting longer strands. It also meant that I could wear it in the style I’d found which suited my dress perfectly.
The other ladies in the room moved in once Ling had finished to do my makeup because there was no way anyone could do this by themselves. Once that was done, all I had to do were the finishing touches.
Sitting back, I went through the final details one more time. I’d chosen the standard white for my underwear just to surprise Tom. I had a white lace corset with matching panties and white thigh highs. It was all gorgeous and had tiny pearls and Swarovski crystals dotted here and there over all of it, including the white lace at the top of my stockings.
“This is how you’re doing your face for your wedding?” Tina, aka makeup chick number one, chuckled as she applied a dark sparkle around my eyes.
“It’s a Halloween wedding!”
I peeked open an eye to look at her and regretted it instantly when I almost got the makeup applicator on my eyeball. My plans for the day totally didn’t include a trip to the ER to save my sight and an eye that would freak my guests out.
“The other ladies didn’t look like this you know, Ms. Hart,” she sounded unsure as she shaded in an area.
“I know. It’s going to be so different!”
I couldn’t wait until Tom saw me – I just hope that he loved it as much as I did.
I really needed to stay away from these doubts even if they were miniscule compared to most scared brides-to-be on their big days. Every time I went down the doubt line, my stomach would roll around like a hamster in a wheel and I’
d have to stop eating my delicious bundles of grapey awesomeness until it settled.
“Um, that is true,” makeup chick number two replied this time. “Very different.”
I hadn’t seen Layla’s dress or anyone else’s outfits. Tom had been very clear on it all – I was to deal with my dress and that was it. The only details he’d asked for confirmation on were my flowers – dark purple and black orchids mixed with deep pink hydrangeas – and what I wanted on my cake. That had been irrelevant when he’d asked, but now I wish I’d asked if we could have had grapes dotted all over it.
“Okay, honey. You’re all set!” The head honcho of the makeup brigade said, snapping me out of my food dilemma.
Opening my eyes, it took me a second to focus on my face because the room had started tilting again. I was going to have to see a doctor soon, this was getting ridiculous. Taking deep breaths to get me through it, I looked back at the mirror and saw what they’d done to my face.
I’m not sure if it was nerves, the spinning room or too many grapes, but I just made it to the bathroom in time before I tossed my cookies – well…grapes! I had a second to mourn their loss before another wave hit, then another.
“Tina?” I called out, my head leaving a smear on the toilet seat where I’d plonked it.
“You just brush your teeth, we’ll fix the rest!”
Groaning, I lifted myself off the floor, flushed the toilet and then went about doing as she’d said. I was going to have to find something to settle my stomach because if it happened during the wedding that would just be humiliating.
Slipping my foot into my shoe, I looked back up at my reflection in the mirror. I had decided not to have a veil, it wouldn’t have gone with my dress. Instead, I had flowers clipped around my head like a flower girl would wear. I loved the simplicity of it and the flowers they’d put in matched my bouquet, so it would all flow together perfectly.
My theme for my wedding was a Dia De Los Muertos one. Because my face was made up like a sugar skull, I’d gone for a more subtle dress. It was all black and had a lace top with capped sleeves, a corseted bodice and the bottom of it flowed out around me like a normal wedding dress would. The cruncher for me was the back. It was low cut and shaped like a V. The corset I was wearing under it was an open-backed one which had cost almost as much as the dress as it had to be specially made by a woman in town who owned a lingerie store. I didn’t care, I loved the whole look.
My shoes were also a special purchase off of Etsy. A lady on it had made black stilettos with a slightly sparkly finish that had a sugar skull in the arches of the soles.
Putting the red cloak over the top of it so that no one would see it before we got there, I took a deep breath and headed toward the stairs.
Taint, Jack, Colette, Tony, and Layla had gone on to the church and were waiting there. That left me with Hurst and Linda who were driving me there.
Just as I rounded the corner to where they were, they both came around it having heard the tip-tap of my shoes on the wooden floors.
“Here she is Lind…holy shit,” Hurst screamed the last bit in my face. He was still a handsome looking guy who was at least a foot taller than me, so him screaming in any way would have been funny – if he hadn’t been looking at me in horror.
“What? Does she need a hand?” Linda stopped dead in her tracks when she saw me.
“Does it look bad? Oh shit, has my makeup run?”
“Kinda…” Hurst replied hesitantly. “Honey, did you check this before you left the room? You look a bit…” he snapped his mouth shut when Linda elbowed him in the side.
“It looked perfect when I saw it. It’s meant to look like a sugar skull, does it look wrong?”
“You were meant to look like that?” Hurst sounded so horrified by the idea, that I was grateful this time when Grams elbowed him even harder in the side.
Looking at them properly, I took in their outfits and was confused by what they’d chosen. They were both in black, but it was a standard tuxedo and dress with lace detail.
“Did you decide to go as undertakers?” this time it was me who sounded hesitant when they asked a question.
What if it was their normal everyday clothing and they just couldn’t be bothered to dress up? Was there an age limit on Halloween costumes?
Hurst was stopped from replying by his wife. “Yeah, sweetie. We decided to go as those. We didn’t want to distract people by being old folk in a costume, ya know?”
She took my hand and led me through the house. I could have sworn I heard Hurst muttering about how he ‘should have been expecting this shit’, but when I turned around, he just looked back at me with a blank face.
As we got outside, I saw Coleman leaning against the side of the car on the passenger side looking alert as he scanned the surrounding area. There had been extra security put in place to make the day go as smoothly and uninterrupted as possible.
Just as he stood up, Gramps hit the screen of his phone and swore loudly.
“What is up with this shit? My texts are all screwy and now my Mercedes app is acting up.”
“There was an update yesterday, remember? It always does this when that happens. You should have seen the ones from Tom,” I chuckled.
At that moment, the alarm on the car started going off, making Coleman jump. What the hell was with this guy? He was meant to be a hardened former military man. In the books, they would just rawr and grrrr at it, and that would be it over and done with. In fact, it would probably melt from their anger and alpha awesomeness.
“Fucking stupid thing!” Gramps continued to hit his screen as we got closer. After about ten more taps, the lights stopped flashing, and the doors unlocked loudly.
“You look…” Coleman trailed off as he looked me over. If that fucker said something mean or laughed at me, I’d kick him in the baby maker. Clearing his throat, he started again. “You look beautiful.”
Were his lips twitching?
Glaring at him, I got into the car and sat biting my nail. People weren’t acting as blown away as I’d thought they would, and they weren’t dressed up.
Maybe Tom had tried to keep that part for the guests only?
“Okie dokie, let’s get this show on the road,” Gramps snorted. I had a funny feeling that it was me he was laughing at.
If that was the case, then karma was a beautiful thing because as he pressed the ignition button, the alarm started going off again and the immobilizer kicked in.
“You know how to use this car yet?” Coleman growled, glaring at him.
“Look, it’s this app thing. I’m sure of it,” Gramps opened the offending app on his phone and smacked the screen.
Reaching over, Coleman snatched it out of his hand and pressed a couple of things on the screen. When nothing happened, he hit it harder. Like magic, it all stopped and when Gramps touched the ignition button, the engine started to purr.
“What kind of Mercedes is this,” I asked Grams quietly as I took in the black leather interior and all the buttons around us. I really wanted to see what they did, but at the same time I really wanted to get to my wedding and who knew what would happen if I gave into the temptation.
“A black one,” she whispered back like it was the best-kept secret.
All was going well until we were halfway there, on a country road in the middle of the boonies – then it all went completely to shit.
“Achtung!” A voice yelled from nowhere. It was so loud that we all screamed, including Coleman, and Gramps swerved right into a tree.
With a bone-jarring thud, we came to an abrupt stop. The car was still yelling at us in German as Coleman and Gramps coughed with the dust from their airbags. The ones in the rear of the car hadn’t activated, so it felt like we were sitting in a ticking time bomb afraid to move in case they exploded out at us.
“Achtung!”
“What do you want from me?” Gramps shouted and hit the dash. Coleman was watching all of it quietly and then turned to face me.
/> I did everything I could not to laugh, I truly did, but half of his face was coated in white powder and he just looked ridiculous. When Grams started laughing at him and pointing though, I lost it.
“He looks like the Phantom of the Opera,” she snorted over the yelling coming from Gramps and the car.
“The fucking thing won’t stop screaming at me! It’s like being in the automobile version of Saving Private Ryan.” Gramps was now shouting down the phone at whoever had been the unlucky one to answer his call. “I…but I have to take my baby girl to get married. That’s what we’re doing.” My heart melted hearing him calling me that. I was one lucky bitch. “The what? When did that happen? Can you fix it?” There was a long pause. “No, the engine stopped, the wheels locked up, and I hit a damn tree, so no I cannot wait for the update to come through. How long would that take?” another pause. “But I need it now. I have to get my granddaughter to her wedding.”
They said something else before he hit his screen and crossed his arms glaring out the windscreen.
“I take it that’s a no then?” Coleman asked drily.
Gramps snapped his head around faster than a person should at his age – hadn’t he heard of arthritis?
“A no? The immobilizer kicked in, I have a tree sitting somewhere in my car where no tree should be,” he was exaggerating. Even I could tell that we’d only clipped it. “And, there was a fucking update which has crashed – literally – the apps on some customers phones making the cars uber,” he exaggerated the word to fit with the achtung that kept being yelled, “safe. So, no. How the fuck are we meant to get there?”
In all of this, not once did he mention the state of his car. The worry was purely getting me to the wedding. Just when I thought I couldn’t love this family more, they went and slayed me that bit more.
Sighing, we all got out of the car and Grams and I moved away from the men dusting themselves off.
Picking up my phone, I rang Layla and explained the problem to her. It was a quick fix and there was a car coming for us.